Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
