so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
