I have demons in me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will pee on everything he values.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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