By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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