I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
