Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
