god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
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Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Who died my cat blue again?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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