I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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