did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
