yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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