You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize