I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't deserve a penis
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
