I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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