Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize