"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize