so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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