sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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