I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
