he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
