i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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