made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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