I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize