I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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