Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
