So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
