He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
