my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
