so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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