guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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