rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just invented taco cereal.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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