where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
