Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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