she was so not down for the gang bang
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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