so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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