I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
