I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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