worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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