I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
