Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
