maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
