I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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