whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
