i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
