yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
