hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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