question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
