Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize