Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
