I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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