Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is the high leading the old right now
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
