It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
