Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
