Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
