white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
