Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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