Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And then he peed in my hair
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