Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
