Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
