i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
