Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
