First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
